Intense, who me?

A lot of times people tell me Iím intense.¬† Iíve come to realize not everyone is using the word in the same manner.¬† For some itís negative, some positive, others itís admiration, and worse some use it to put me into some sort of classification.¬† Simply put Iím judged by my intensity.¬† Some people say my intensity comes from the fact Iím from the right coast and a Boston native, while others just think Iím a fast talking-asshole or so I was told once.¬† This person quickly indicated that it wasnít true but those people just donít know me or understand the real me.

Am I intense, YES!¬† Is it because Iím from Basten as I say it or because I talk fast and canít stay on one subject? No, I donít have ADD and think doctors made it up.¬† Is it because Iíve hiked the Appalachian Trail, Long Trail, Pacific Crest Trail, done solo 24 hour & 100 mile mountain bike races and biked the west coast as a warm up to the PCT?¬† Honestly, I donít know.

Itís all of these things in a manner of speaking.¬† Iím intense because that is who I am.¬† Accept it or donít, I donít care either way.¬† I personal donít think the things I do make me intense but others do.¬† I HATE this.¬† Just because I choose to hike 2655 miles in 125 days doesnít mean Iím more intense than you.¬† The average person looks at me and thinks ďI could never do thatĒ, while I look at tri-athletes and think the same thing.¬† The bottom line is its all relative.¬† Donít compare yourself to me, when you stop doing so youíll see Iím just another guy.¬† If you compare the speed of my talking to the Micro Machine guy then I’m slow but compare to the average Joe, I’m fast.¬† If you really know me, you know Iím just a guy who dreams big, craves adventure, and is always testing his physical and mental limits in what he does.

During my first 100 mountain bike race I was brought to a state of physical and mental decay where I couldnít control my emotions.¬† I wanted to cry but didnít know why.¬† I was so far gone I lost control.¬† I canít say Iíve ever been there before or since.¬† To know I can push myself that hard makes me feel alive.¬† It also makes me question my limits both physical and mental.

Me when I lost control of my emotions at the CCP

The only limitations one should have are ones they place on themselves.  Even then you should push them.  Unfortunately society and those around us sometimes create limitations and we hold ourselves to those.

I hold myself to higher standards than others hold me to.¬† Iím not okay with doing things half ass.¬† I donít hold others to these physical or moral standards but I do expect a lot from others in the way of being respectful and treating me as I do them.¬† Unfortunately not many do.¬† Iím not saying I think Iím better than everyone else, itís quite the opposite.¬† Iím my own worst critic.

I embrace me intensity most of the time but lucky for all of you I curb most of it which goes against my belief of being oneself.¬† Iíve learned who can handle it and they feel its full weight, while other times I unleash it on my adventures.¬† Find your intensity, push your limits and get out there!

———-

Scatman

Get out there!

Powered by adventure, fueled by Feed the Machine, Hydrated by nuun, and built for life like Stanley.

1 Comment

  1. I do think you talk fast, I do not think you’re any sort of arsehole. I am impressed by your physical feats, I don’t think it has anything to do with which side of the continental divide you were born on.